I have done some reflection recently on things I wish I had known as a young leader. Here are some of the thoughts.

One: You can relax in the journey. Young leaders are out to take territory and can do so in an aggressive manner. However, important endeavors are rarely rushed endeavors and when we move too fast, we leave people behind. Jesus never seemed to be in a particular hurry - to the consternation of the disciples and others. Nor do we need to be.

Two: You don't need to have the answers. It's OK to say, "I don't know, what do you think?" Our job is not to have all the answers but it is to find the answers and that is usually with other people who think well. It is highly freeing not to need to be the answer person.

Three: It's OK if some folks don't like how you lead. Now it is always a good thing to listen as we might learn something. But, you won't be able to please everyone so stop trying. If as a leader, someone is not happy with you you are not leading.

Four: You will never meet everyone's expectations so don't try. Needing to meet all the expectations of those around us is a trap and it hurts our leadership because it dilutes our focus. Leaders need to focus and in doing so they say no to many options to say yes to the best options. Be gracious but don't fall into the expectation trap.

Five: Don't try to lead by yourself. The best thing I ever did was to find a partner that I could lead with who had skills I didn't have and then to build a team of leaders. When I tried to do it myself I wasn't very successful. With partners I was.

Six: Failure can be a blessing. When you try something and it doesn't work it isn't a ding against you. It means you are trying new things and willing to take risks. Innovation and risk are dancing partners and failure is simply a measure of a willingness to take a risk. Some of your risks will pay off handsomely.

Seven: Always be gracious. Ditch defensiveness and be gracious in as many situations as you can be. You may not agree and don't have to agree but being gracious saves a lot of relational heartaches. 

Eight: When you can, prioritize relationships over expediency. You are on a mission and the mission matters but don't sacrifice the relational component in the process. People matter. In fact, it is the people around you who can help you get important things done. 

Nine: Pay attention to your EQ. Emotional Intelligence and growing in our EQ is key to present and future success. Keep seeking to grow your EQ and have people around you who can give you real time feedback on things you don't see.